Festive Finish

Christmas – a time for good will and peace…….and a lot of hard work in the process too. I do enjoy the Christmas break but marvel at TV programmes , magazines and endless cook books that tell you how to make it easy.

For working mothers, it never is. Ditch the magazines that give you 110 steps to a perfect Christmas and tell you that you can cook a turkey, fill out your vat return and look marvellous at the same time and welcome to reality.

I had an e mail from a CIPR member the other day saying that she had been so inspired that I work and have 2 small children that she was thinking about starting a family of her own. Receiving such an e mail was really fantastic but it made me think…….should we have to sacrifice our career for a family or our family for our career?

Just as we don’t have to have the most perfect Christmas flower decoration (and lets face it – only you would notice it if you did!) then we don’t have to either plan on chaining ourselves to the desk or the sink. It’s easier now than it ever has been before. There’s flexible working, more child care on offer and modern technology means that your desk doesn’t always have to be in the office. Yes it is hard work – but surely your family is worth it?

For me Christmas is going to be about catching up with my boys and spending some quality time with them. I’ve been away an incredible amount this year and I now want to start to make up for it. Being President has been very rewarding – but also stressful and my children have been amazing through it all. Small children respond and adapt to situations quickly; it is the parental guilt that haunts you instead.

So, as I hand over the CIPR reigns to Kevin Taylor (hard working father of 4!), then I hope that more working mothers pick up the CIPR challenge…………..and pop those ‘perfect’ books and magazines on the fire. As if we need to create any more stress for ourselves!

Comments

[Anna]

Thanks for this. Motherhood is not currently on the horizon, but I would like to think that one dsy in the coming years it will be. My fear is always that I will have to give up work completely or that I would end up being the world's worst mother. I also hate being portrayed (esp by some of my friends) as some kind of hard-nosed career woman, just because I love my job.

I'd like to think that when the time is right I'll be able to make the right sacrifces without losing myself.

[Saranne]

Although clearly not as successful as Lis (I wish!) I am a working mum of littlies, aged 5 and 3. I would absolutely support what Lis has to say about combining both, although the guilt that goes with it is sometimes hard to bear. Example - my 3-year-old starting at pre-school this week and me not able to take him in on his first day. I hasten to add that my hubby is just as capable as me of this proud duty but I'm his mum and feel that I should be there.

There are three keys (apart from the guilt, which you just have to learn to live with!) to managing life as a working mum.

1)A fantastic partner, one that is truly prepared to do their share. I am blessed here, my journalist hubby decided that the time was right to come out of 'proper' work and now works as a freelancer from home, giving us all the flexibility we need in terms of dropping off and picking up from school.

2) An employer who understands that sometimes working mums (and dads!) need a little flexibility. When little children are ill they tend to want their mum and a couple of days away from office dealing with their throwing up/ chickenpox/ fever really isn't a skive. Again, I am lucky here but I've heard plenty of horror stories from other mums!

3) Dealing with the 'stay-at-home' mums in the playground. I manage to pick my daughter up from school on a Friday, which is no mean feat as school kicks out at 3.30pm. However, the disapproving scowls from some of the mums as I march into the playground at the last second, having struggled to find a parking space, is sometimes painful!! I smile sweetly of course, and try to make conversation however a few more friendly faces in this population would be fantastic!

In short, I love my life as a working mum and it is entirely possible to manage, even if you do live life at a million miles an hour most of the time...